Rant: MOTHER FUCKING COKE RESIDUE

Yes this needed a thread. So im sitting here drinking the one true drink, the lord and savior of all cola-kind, Coca-Cola. Now normally I can enjoy the hell out of my delicious caramel colored mouth sex with Luna like a boss but every once and a while that one can comes along. Now I could avoid this all together if I had the money to buy only the glass bottle cokes from Mexico but since I don't want to have to pay $12 for a mere 12 of them when I could have 48 cans im forced to stick to the aluminum can Coke. Not to bash the aluminum can since its vastly superiority to plastic bottles but this will always happen to you when you least expect it. Its almost never that first sip either, it always waits and prepares to ambush your mouth. Nearly a quarter done and it strikes like a cobra on speed. MOTHER FUCKING RESIDUE. THIS UNHOLY OCCURENCE ALWAYS SITUATES ITSELF WHERE IT WANTS TO BE THE MOST MOTHER FUCKING ANNOYANCE SINCE BABIES. You know the feel, that one vat that got a bit to saturated with the secret formula of coke and turns into a sticky substance that you cant get out for hours no matter how much you try to spit it out. Worse so is trying to take a drink of coke or anything not coke and it just hangs on like a tick in your mouth but 1,782,986,081 times worse. But there is usually a highlight to this, it happens maybe one time then its weeks if not months before it happens again. NOT TODAY FOR ME DAMN IT. 3 FUCKING DRINKS AND EACH ONE HAD THE RESIDUE. EACH FUCKING ONE. A GODDAMNED HAT TRICK OF ORAL SABOTAGE. LIKE THE FUCKING BURNED CHEETO THAT IS ALWAYS THE LAST FUCKING ONE YOU EAT IT IS SATAN TROLLING YOU. I DON'T EVEN THINK THIS IS ACCIDENTAL BECAUSE OF THE NUMBER OF TIMES ITS HAPPENED. SERIOUSLY, HITLER HAS TO BE BEHIND THIS I JUST FUCKING KNOW IT BECAUSE THIS IS WORSE THAN ANYTHING ELSE HE EVER DID.

blackfuredfox wrote:

Yes this needed a thread. So im sitting here drinking the one true drink, the lord and savior of all cola-kind, Coca-Cola. Now normally I can enjoy the hell out of my delicious caramel colored mouth sex with Luna like a boss but every once and a while that one can comes along. Now I could avoid this all together if I had the money to buy only the glass bottle cokes from Mexico but since I don't want to have to pay $12 for a mere 12 of them when I could have 48 cans im forced to stick to the aluminum can Coke. Not to bash the aluminum can since its vastly superiority to plastic bottles but this will always happen to you when you least expect it. Its almost never that first sip either, it always waits and prepares to ambush your mouth. Nearly a quarter done and it strikes like a cobra on speed. MOTHER FUCKING RESIDUE. THIS UNHOLY OCCURENCE ALWAYS SITUATES ITSELF WHERE IT WANTS TO BE THE MOST MOTHER FUCKING ANNOYANCE SINCE BABIES. You know the feel, that one vat that got a bit to saturated with the secret formula of coke and turns into a sticky substance that you cant get out for hours no matter how much you try to spit it out. Worse so is trying to take a drink of coke or anything not coke and it just hangs on like a tick in your mouth but 1,782,986,081 times worse. But there is usually a highlight to this, it happens maybe one time then its weeks if not months before it happens again. NOT TODAY FOR ME DAMN IT. 3 FUCKING DRINKS AND EACH ONE HAD THE RESIDUE. EACH FUCKING ONE. A GODDAMNED HAT TRICK OF ORAL SABOTAGE. LIKE THE FUCKING BURNED CHEETO THAT IS ALWAYS THE LAST FUCKING ONE YOU EAT IT IS SATAN TROLLING YOU. I DON'T EVEN THINK THIS IS ACCIDENTAL BECAUSE OF THE NUMBER OF TIMES ITS HAPPENED. SERIOUSLY, HITLER HAS TO BE BEHIND THIS I JUST FUCKING KNOW IT BECAUSE THIS IS WORSE THAN ANYTHING ELSE HE EVER DID.

...or you could pour the can into a glass before drinking it

Kaizy wrote:

blackfuredfox wrote:

Yes this needed a thread. So im sitting here drinking the one true drink, the lord and savior of all cola-kind, Coca-Cola. Now normally I can enjoy the hell out of my delicious caramel colored mouth sex with Luna like a boss but every once and a while that one can comes along. Now I could avoid this all together if I had the money to buy only the glass bottle cokes from Mexico but since I don't want to have to pay $12 for a mere 12 of them when I could have 48 cans im forced to stick to the aluminum can Coke. Not to bash the aluminum can since its vastly superiority to plastic bottles but this will always happen to you when you least expect it. Its almost never that first sip either, it always waits and prepares to ambush your mouth. Nearly a quarter done and it strikes like a cobra on speed. MOTHER FUCKING RESIDUE. THIS UNHOLY OCCURENCE ALWAYS SITUATES ITSELF WHERE IT WANTS TO BE THE MOST MOTHER FUCKING ANNOYANCE SINCE BABIES. You know the feel, that one vat that got a bit to saturated with the secret formula of coke and turns into a sticky substance that you cant get out for hours no matter how much you try to spit it out. Worse so is trying to take a drink of coke or anything not coke and it just hangs on like a tick in your mouth but 1,782,986,081 times worse. But there is usually a highlight to this, it happens maybe one time then its weeks if not months before it happens again. NOT TODAY FOR ME DAMN IT. 3 FUCKING DRINKS AND EACH ONE HAD THE RESIDUE. EACH FUCKING ONE. A GODDAMNED HAT TRICK OF ORAL SABOTAGE. LIKE THE FUCKING BURNED CHEETO THAT IS ALWAYS THE LAST FUCKING ONE YOU EAT IT IS SATAN TROLLING YOU. I DON'T EVEN THINK THIS IS ACCIDENTAL BECAUSE OF THE NUMBER OF TIMES ITS HAPPENED. SERIOUSLY, HITLER HAS TO BE BEHIND THIS I JUST FUCKING KNOW IT BECAUSE THIS IS WORSE THAN ANYTHING ELSE HE EVER DID.

...or you could pour the can into a glass before drinking it

Not once has that worked for me. Its not been limited to coke either though, Mt. Dew has had it happen a few times to me but oddly enough only from the fountain.

And this is another reason I only drink it in a glass bottle. It almost never happens in glass bottles for whatever reason.

Ive actually never had this happen to me

The worst thing Ive experienced with a canned drink was drinking a Monster and having this horrid egg-like aftertaste...but it went away after a while

I've drank a fuckload of soda in my life and that's never happened to me. With cans, I'm more worried about what might be on the outside, since the pop tab dips down into the soda and all

I would wash the top but I just forget always

greg-the-fox wrote:

I've drank a fuckload of soda in my life and that's never happened to me. With cans, I'm more worried about what might be on the outside, since the pop tab dips down into the soda and all

I would wash the top but I just forget always

Most of this. ^

I can only think of one time I ever had a coke that tasted funny. But I had always just assumed that my tongue was dirty on that particular day...