So I've just realized I'm a sleepwalker.

Last night, had some sleep-time tea. Got in my jammies. Went to bed. Usual stuff.

Woke up this morning, and, well. Cold. Where did all my clothes go ?! Oh, huh. They're balled up in the corner of the den. That certainly is where I expected them to be, not on my actual body.

This is the third time it's happened this week. I like to assume that, rather than being a creepster that walks around the house in my underwear, I actually moonlight in the wee hours of the morning as a stud muffin boning his way through hordes of attractive young men ages sixteen to nineteen-and-a-half. It is as if my studliness has oozed out of every possible orifice of my body and can not manifest itself properly in a sixteen-hour waking day.

Yes, I think I'll go with that.

This one time, I went to bed and my bed wasn't made, all messy and stuff. When I woke up, my head was at the opposite end and my bed was perfectly made O.O

I can't make beds that well when I'm awake.

Also if I say the word bed one more time I'll explode.

I attacked my dad once while sleepwalking. It's pretty traumatic to wake up to being pinned down and yelled at for reasons you were not conscious enough to remember.

I used to follow the people that place those advertisement things on the door knobs late at night.
Follow them down the road.

I think I might've sleepwalked once, but I'm not sure. The only reason I think I might've is because "it" happened just before an episode of sleep paralysis, and whatever "it" was, "it" sure seemed like I was walking around my room in a zombie-like state, seeing the various objects laying about exactly as they were, but not knowing what they were, hearing voices coming from the room next to mine but not saying anything I can understand (or even being aware that those were people in the other room as much as things that make sounds). The only thing strange about it (relatively speaking) is I felt the episode coming on so I instinctively crawled back into bed and, it seemed, my body. So was it a dream, sleep walking, or an out of body experience? If it's a dream it's just fucked because no way should the room have looked that perfect - something's always off in a dream, if only some minor detail.