Regarding Abusive Parents

Okay... So, this is more of a discussion thing, but:

I have recently learned that I was abused as a child. Over the past few months it had been revealed to me the large amount of neglect and abuse I suffered at the hands of both parents.

And, I am aware others here have gone through the same thing, so...

I'm curious about how you learn to cope with it. Sometimes I'm okay- but other times I'm a wreck. So, those of you who have suffered it, how did you learn to cope eventually? Have you learned to cope?

Ok well, I have a question, and I'm not trying to be a dick...

What kind of abuse? 'Cause if you weren't aware of it until now you really shouldn't care :/

I came to realize it can cause psychological problems. to this day, everybody around me denies what happened to me and my mom when I was a kid. it pisses me off to no end, to confront my step dad about it; the person who did this to me; for him to have the balls to tell me I imagined it.

what I want to know is how I can 'create' a memory SO unbelievably vivid, that I can practically recall every single moment of it, only to be told that none of it is true.

I'd say that's psychologically damaging. and I probably won't stop until somebody finally tells me the truth.

Foxy_Boy wrote:

Ok well, I have a question, and I'm not trying to be a dick...

What kind of abuse? 'Cause if you weren't aware of it until now you really shouldn't care :/

It varied from time to time... My Grandmother has been my only reliable reporter for me.
I personally don't feel comfortable just blurting it out loud.

Foxy_Boy wrote:

Ok well, I have a question, and I'm not trying to be a dick...

What kind of abuse? 'Cause if you weren't aware of it until now you really shouldn't care :/

well like my above statement, I didn't recall a moment in my life until just a few years ago. it randomly popped up, and it stayed in my head... it sort of formed on it's own through time. I think passing by my old house struck that memory.

but yea, dude. it's basic psychological stuff you hear in textbooks. sometimes people mentally block it out

Pliio wrote:

Foxy_Boy wrote:

Ok well, I have a question, and I'm not trying to be a dick...

What kind of abuse? 'Cause if you weren't aware of it until now you really shouldn't care :/

It varied from time to time... My Grandmother has been my only reliable reporter for me.
I personally don't feel comfortable just blurting it out loud.

Let me know in a PM, I'm gonna go to bed then spend most of tomorrow out.

MiloTime wrote:

Foxy_Boy wrote:

Ok well, I have a question, and I'm not trying to be a dick...

What kind of abuse? 'Cause if you weren't aware of it until now you really shouldn't care :/

well like my above statement, I didn't recall a moment in my life until just a few years ago. it randomly popped up, and it stayed in my head... it sort of formed on it's own through time. I think passing by my old house struck that memory.

but yea, dude. it's basic psychological stuff you hear in textbooks. sometimes people mentally block it out

That's what I've been told and read.
Like, I recall parts of it. Just small pieces. There are times some random object, sound or sight will give me a full-on panic attack for no good reason, and my Grandmother or Mother will tell me about some time my father abused me and said thing was involved.

Just to let you know, if a psychologist every tries to do hypnotism on you and uncover 'repressed' memories, a lot of the time they can just unintentionally create 'false' memories that you may fully believe as real. They've done experiments and it's very easy to implant suggested memories.

I'm not by any means trying to de-legitimize anything you're saying, but you should just be aware of that.

Pliio wrote:

MiloTime wrote:

Foxy_Boy wrote:

Ok well, I have a question, and I'm not trying to be a dick...

What kind of abuse? 'Cause if you weren't aware of it until now you really shouldn't care :/

well like my above statement, I didn't recall a moment in my life until just a few years ago. it randomly popped up, and it stayed in my head... it sort of formed on it's own through time. I think passing by my old house struck that memory.

but yea, dude. it's basic psychological stuff you hear in textbooks. sometimes people mentally block it out

That's what I've been told and read.
Like, I recall parts of it. Just small pieces. There are times some random object, sound or sight will give me a full-on panic attack for no good reason, and my Grandmother or Mother will tell me about some time my father abused me and said thing was involved.

show me a giant blue stuffed gorilla, and I'll probably have a panic attack too, heh.

anyway, I can remember every bit of it. it's unbelievably detailed in my head. I could actually sit here and give you every single detail by the second lol.

greg-the-fox wrote:

Just to let you know, if a psychologist every tries to do hypnotism on you and uncover 'repressed' memories, a lot of the time they can just unintentionally create 'false' memories that you may fully believe as real. They've done experiments and it's very easy to implant suggested memories.

I'm not by any means trying to de-legitimize anything you're saying, but you should just be aware of that.

I've only ever been to a psychologist once, and I was never hypnotized.

but hm... I never knew that. damn

greg-the-fox wrote:

Just to let you know, if a psychologist every tries to do hypnotism on you and uncover 'repressed' memories, a lot of the time they can just unintentionally create 'false' memories that you may fully believe as real. They've done experiments and it's very easy to implant suggested memories.

I'm not by any means trying to de-legitimize anything you're saying, but you should just be aware of that.

I've been to a psychologist once. He never did hypnotism.

Psychology is a joke, we don't know near everything about how the human brain works, how can anyone really know what they're talking about?

Foxy_Boy wrote:

Ok well, I have a question, and I'm not trying to be a dick...

What kind of abuse? 'Cause if you weren't aware of it until now you really shouldn't care :/

I call bullshit. The first five years of your life are the most important developmentally, and almost nobody can remember that. I have like... 10 memories from before age 12 (some manner of retrograde amnesia or repression), but I know things that happened before then made me who I am today. Learning experiences do not necessarily produce conscious memories.

Foxy_Boy wrote:

Psychology is a joke, we don't know near everything about how the human brain works, how can anyone really know what they're talking about?

Psychology doesn't bother with how the brain works, that's neurobiology. Psychology is about the mind — the software that can be poked and prodded from the outside, and has figured out plenty. If you're fixing a car, it helps to know how it works, but sometimes a repair manual does fine too.

Foxy_Boy wrote:

Psychology is a joke, we don't know near everything about how the human brain works, how can anyone really know what they're talking about?

Ahem...
Coming from me- someone training towards a doctorate in psychology:

Psychology is a quantifiable social science that regards the study of human behavior. Psychology has four main goals: To understand behavior, to observe behavior, to predict behavior and to stop negative behavior.
Psychologists do everything from running therapy clinics for the mentally ill, to working with businesses to understand the psychology of work and make working conditions easier, to measuring sleep patterns and brain waves to understand the mechanism of sleep.
Psychology has a multitude of schools- and yes, has many theories. But you'd be damned to find a science that isn't 90% theories.

Pliio wrote:

Foxy_Boy wrote:

Psychology is a joke, we don't know near everything about how the human brain works, how can anyone really know what they're talking about?

Ahem...
Coming from me- someone training towards a doctorate in psychology:

Psychology is a quantifiable social science that regards the study of human behavior. Psychology has four main goals: To understand behavior, to observe behavior, to predict behavior and to stop negative behavior.
Psychologists do everything from running therapy clinics for the mentally ill, to working with businesses to understand the psychology of work and make working conditions easier, to measuring sleep patterns and brain waves to understand the mechanism of sleep.
Psychology has a multitude of schools- and yes, has many theories. But you'd be damned to find a science that isn't 90% theories.

you're talking to the guy who see's logic right in front of him, and then does the complete opposite

Foxy_Boy wrote:

Psychology is a joke, we don't know near everything about how the human brain works, how can anyone really know what they're talking about?

The fact of the matter is, psychology and psychiatry are both well aware of that, but they're not about facts, or what's right, or even reason. They're about calling all the little quirks and eccentricities in a person "illnesses" because that's the only way most people won't, in time, come to the consensus that the best way to deal with schizophrenics, autistics and people with other problems is to lock them all up, if not outright exterminate them. And on the other hand, they suffer from all the same flaws as the people they're trying to deal with.

Wolf-Bone wrote:

Foxy_Boy wrote:

Psychology is a joke, we don't know near everything about how the human brain works, how can anyone really know what they're talking about?

The fact of the matter is, psychology and psychiatry are both well aware of that, but they're not about facts, or what's right, or even reason. They're about calling all the little quirks and eccentricities in a person "illnesses" because that's the only way most people won't, in time, come to the consensus that the best way to deal with schizophrenics, autistics and people with other problems is to lock them all up, if not outright exterminate them. And on the other hand, they suffer from all the same flaws as the people they're trying to deal with.

The anti-psychology flaming going on in this thread is kinda pissing me off. Psych is a subjective, statistical, soft science, but its practitioners are not mental patients. It's not witchcraft; it gets results.

Riv wrote:

Wolf-Bone wrote:

Foxy_Boy wrote:

Psychology is a joke, we don't know near everything about how the human brain works, how can anyone really know what they're talking about?

The fact of the matter is, psychology and psychiatry are both well aware of that, but they're not about facts, or what's right, or even reason. They're about calling all the little quirks and eccentricities in a person "illnesses" because that's the only way most people won't, in time, come to the consensus that the best way to deal with schizophrenics, autistics and people with other problems is to lock them all up, if not outright exterminate them. And on the other hand, they suffer from all the same flaws as the people they're trying to deal with.

The anti-psychology flaming going on in this thread is kinda pissing me off. Psych is a subjective, statistical, soft science, but its practitioners are not mental patients. It's not witchcraft; it gets results.

I was gonna say. it's not exactly something everyone can rely on, but at least it's SOMETHING.

it's progression in a rather... obscure way

I grew up with abusive parents, and I still live with the same parents who abused me, mostly so I can protect my younger brother from the same shit I went through. I suggest you look up a local Fresno woman named Dakota Draconi. She's one of the leading speakers on child abuse, went through Hell herself as a child, and can help out with such things.

Wolf-Bone wrote:

Foxy_Boy wrote:

Psychology is a joke, we don't know near everything about how the human brain works, how can anyone really know what they're talking about?

The fact of the matter is, psychology and psychiatry are both well aware of that, but they're not about facts, or what's right, or even reason. They're about calling all the little quirks and eccentricities in a person "illnesses" because that's the only way most people won't, in time, come to the consensus that the best way to deal with schizophrenics, autistics and people with other problems is to lock them all up, if not outright exterminate them. And on the other hand, they suffer from all the same flaws as the people they're trying to deal with.

I'm autistic, schizophrenic AND a psychologist. Yet I certainly believe that people with mental illnesses shouldn't be locked up or kept away from society.

I think you're thinking of psychology as it was 30-40 years ago, not today.

It kinda blows my mind reading what some people think about psychology in here. It makes me come to the conclusion that either the field of psychology needs a public relations unit, or that the masses are simply uneducated to how the field really works. A mental patient is only ever locked up if he is untreatable at that point and is a menace to himself and others. Otherwise, there are treatments and such for whatever ailment or whatever you have that you want gone. Many people actually don't like having Schizophrenia, believe it or not. I have seen this condition treated and damn near cured before. Such things are never fully gone, but they can be repressed with things like talk therapy, and in some cases, medication.

Ahkmill wrote:

It kinda blows my mind reading what some people think about psychology in here. It makes me come to the conclusion that either the field of psychology needs a public relations unit, or that the masses are simply uneducated to how the field really works. A mental patient is only ever locked up if he is untreatable at that point and is a menace to himself and others. Otherwise, there are treatments and such for whatever ailment or whatever you have that you want gone. Many people actually don't like having Schizophrenia, believe it or not. I have seen this condition treated and damn near cured before. Such things are never fully gone, but they can be repressed with things like talk therapy, and in some cases, medication.

This
So much

I think it's more the uneducated part, really. A lot of bullshit gets spread around.

Ahkmill wrote:

It kinda blows my mind reading what some people think about psychology in here. It makes me come to the conclusion that either the field of psychology needs a public relations unit, or that the masses are simply uneducated to how the field really works. A mental patient is only ever locked up if he is untreatable at that point and is a menace to himself and others. Otherwise, there are treatments and such for whatever ailment or whatever you have that you want gone. Many people actually don't like having Schizophrenia, believe it or not. I have seen this condition treated and damn near cured before. Such things are never fully gone, but they can be repressed with things like talk therapy, and in some cases, medication.

It's called Mel Gibson's Disease, and it's contagious, so keep your mask on.

First, in regards to everyone, fuck you. Second, I've actually tried to get help in the past, and all I learned was that most of the people in that profession look down on their patients. Some even told me point blank they thought I was pretty much a waste of skin, but that they could tell I was the type who wouldn't do anything about it, or them saying it, and that's why they did it. So stuff your self-righteousness the fuck up your asses. I'm sure there's exceptions to the rule, but this is my experience, and it's just as legit as anyone elses.

If you think my beef with mental health is personal, you're God damned right it's personal.
It's basic human nature. It's fucking common sense.
If any of you had it, you wouldn't even consider it as a profession, because you'd know better to think you're going to improve it just by studying it, let alone working in the field.

Frankly, I hope the Scientologist's win!

Talk mean to me, baby.

If you don't want to share your personal life with a psychologist, then don't. Nobody's requiring you do it.
Some people find talking to psychologists to be helpful, usually depending on the doctor being good and not being an asshole. Don't go apeshit simply because some people want to defend the field you want to shit on.