BAWW Thread 4: IS NOTHING EASY

Lucy wrote:

Azure wrote:

Daisy The Bunny wrote:

Last night, there were skinheads on my lawn.

ah, my favorite people to beat up

another missed opportunity

skinheads are pretty much the lowest form of human being that i can think of

besides the tea party and the reagan administration

You know nothing of the original European skinhead culture, do you? :U

yeah, its called nazism

just like here in america

when they tell you different on wikipedia, its called lying :U

that and wearing combat fatigues and boots when youve nothing to do with it is pretty tacky

but punks never liked each other anyway

Azure wrote:

Lucy wrote:

Azure wrote:

Daisy The Bunny wrote:

Last night, there were skinheads on my lawn.

ah, my favorite people to beat up

another missed opportunity

skinheads are pretty much the lowest form of human being that i can think of

besides the tea party and the reagan administration

You know nothing of the original European skinhead culture, do you? :U

yeah, its called nazism

just like here in america

when they tell you different on wikipedia, its called lying :U

Uh, skinheads in Europe are a punk culture. Most are anti-hate and anti-racism, they just rock out and have a good time.

Lucy wrote:

Uh, skinheads in Europe are a punk culture. Most are anti-hate and anti-racism, they just rock out and have a good time.

well that's smart. tie a term related to racism and hate, to a group of people who are literally the exact opposite. that won't confuse people

I've met like one person in an Oi! Punk band here, and he was the only non-racist skinhead I've met.

My facts may be a bit off, but this is the information I personally have.

The original skinheads were a party-hardy anarchistic bunch fro northern Europe. They were predominately white, mostly because the area has a massive percentage of white people. However, they were all-inclusive, and saw no ties to any race or heritage. As the culture spread, the meanings changed, and it became largely a white-supremacist group in most of the other world.

There aren't that many Jews who are overtly hostile to the Germans, but there are plenty who use the Holocaust as part of their rationale for their hatred (and resulting atrocities towards) Palestinians. Also, many of the original skinheads were black. It was originally as much about ska/reggae and working class pride as anything intrinsically white/european. Then, as white people usually do, they fucking ruined it in the name of race.

I'm stressing the fuck out trying not to fail school
Also I have this knot in my back and it hurts when I breathe

They were doing free 10 minute massages at school, I kind of wish I had gotten one now. But it was right in the middle of a busy hallway, that would creep me the fuck out with everyone staring at me while some stranger touches me... yeah no thanks on second thought I think I'd rather be in pain.

My back ruins everything.

While I was labeling boxes at the plant, my back decided it wasn't in the mood for handling to cold of the warehouse. After a violent spasm, I was forced to take a knee and from that point I was really unable to move much or do any work. I had to limp to my supervisor, who told me I couldn't work there. My piece of shit fucking poor ass back lost me my job.

I want to fucking jump off a bridge.

I remember that feeling of myself thinking I'm not ready for college yet last year. I may have been on to something with that thought.

get new laptop

wireless password fails to work forever

LAPTOP IS FUCKING USELESS

fuck this shit, im gonna go download new vegas at the fucking mcdonalds down the road

Azure wrote:

get new laptop

wireless password fails to work forever

LAPTOP IS FUCKING USELESS

fuck this shit, im gonna go download new vegas at the fucking mcdonalds down the road

I wish I had the time to save up for a laptop or something. the best I have right now, is a decent phone that for SOME reason, has 3G, even though I'm not paying for anything. I could have sworn you had to pay to get 3G on anything, but I'm afraid to question it.

BAWWWW, trying to write validation logic for dynamic acyclic graph structures to prevent circular references at 2AM in the morning >.<

I can't get a fucking straight answer out of anybody. I call the indian hospital to see about human resources, or any information on this. she tells me they don't have human resources, so I ask her if there's any way I could get more information on this. she tells me it has to be specific. well I have no fucking idea what I'm looking for... a psychologist maybe. does insurance cover mental health? without giving me an answer, she redirects me to some mental health clinic. I have no idea what I'm asking, so we go back and forth between confusion, and finally I say thanks, bye. clearly my rambling and stuttering makes it apparent to her that I need some mental help. but she was absolutely no help at all. whatever.

two calls later, I still have no fucking idea what benefits I'm getting for my indian insurance. this is what I need. to waste money on calls that are getting me nowhere.

Im just completely filled with self hatred and contempt right now, like beyond hatred though. Someone just fucking shoot me, or hit me with a car, hell I dont care now.

MiloTime wrote:

I can't get a fucking straight answer out of anybody. I call the indian hospital to see about human resources, or any information on this. she tells me they don't have human resources, so I ask her if there's any way I could get more information on this. she tells me it has to be specific. well I have no fucking idea what I'm looking for... a psychologist maybe. does insurance cover mental health? without giving me an answer, she redirects me to some mental health clinic. I have no idea what I'm asking, so we go back and forth between confusion, and finally I say thanks, bye. clearly my rambling and stuttering makes it apparent to her that I need some mental help. but she was absolutely no help at all. whatever.

two calls later, I still have no fucking idea what benefits I'm getting for my indian insurance. this is what I need. to waste money on calls that are getting me nowhere.

Have you tried this place?

blackfuredfox wrote:

Im just completely filled with self hatred and contempt right now, like beyond hatred though. Someone just fucking shoot me, or hit me with a car, hell I dont care now.

What is it you hate about yourself so much?

RickyBobbyMew wrote:

Have you tried this place?

I know most of the details about the benefits itself, the problem is, it varies not only by location, but also how much indian you have in you. like for educational benefits, I have to be at LEAST 1/4 indian. I couldn't get an answer out of everyone as to whether or not I apply for certain medical benefits. I know my mother applies, but does medical cover mental health as well? or even dental health? dental health I imagine they do, but stuff like psychology, I tried asking about, and all they did was redirect me to different numbers, that just redirected me to other numbers.

I couldn't even get an answer out of them if I needed to set up a meeting in order to come down, but whatever. I'm coming down there sometime... when I can afford the bus

MiloTime wrote:

I know most of the details about the benefits itself, the problem is, it varies not only by location, but also how much indian you have in you. like for educational benefits, I have to be at LEAST 1/4 indian. I couldn't get an answer out of everyone as to whether or not I apply for certain medical benefits. I know my mother applies, but does medical cover mental health as well? or even dental health? dental health I imagine they do, but stuff like psychology, I tried asking about, and all they did was redirect me to different numbers, that just redirected me to other numbers.

I couldn't even get an answer out of them if I needed to set up a meeting in order to come down, but whatever. I'm coming down there sometime... when I can afford the bus

I would worry about finding a living situation before medical and dental coverage, but that's just me.

I mean... Get a job that has benefits and you'll get it for free, anyway.

RickyBobbyMew wrote:

I would worry about finding a living situation before medical and dental coverage, but that's just me.

I mean... Get a job that has benefits and you'll get it for free, anyway.

there is nothing I can do at this point that will land me a living situation, or a job. I'm sorry, but it's next to impossible when you have no one to help you. especially when you quite literally know NOBODY. I'm looking at a program that can get me into a temporary shelter, but that's the BEST I can hope for right now.

that's not to say that I'm NOT looking for a job. I have an interview on friday as a matter of fact.

in other words, of course I'm TRYING to get on my feet, but to face reality, there's little to no help for me to get out of this situation. the best thing in my life I actually have control of, is the option to move to san francisco. but I can't do that right now.

so for the time being, I'm trying to... fuck I don't even know what I'm doing, but I just want some sort of mental help.

Rifled through an old hard drive and found some pictures that brought back memories so I'm kinda melancholic.

This is why I don't have keepsakes.

I think I noticed that one of the reasons I never feel fully rested is because I never really sleep. like, I almost don't sleep ever

Right now im sitting in a parking lot outside one of my friends apartments and they're having a party that they invited another of my friends, who I pick up from work, to a party. No one told me except for her until about, oh 1 hour before hand.

So, I had 14 grams of extracted kratom in a fine powder form. I went to eat some and took way too much, accidentally inhaled before I could down it and sneezed it all over the place

Then I ate a bunch more ;3

I opened one of those threads.
My penis is REALLY bugging me today.
My pot was supposed to be here yesterday afternoon.
There was a huge tarantula spider hybrid in my room and when I got a glass and a sheet of paper it was gone.
My cousin's coming up today and she always makes me feel so inferior with her superiority... not that she's flaunting it or anything... she's just in every way better than I am.

Zoe wrote:

I opened one of those threads.
My penis is REALLY bugging me today.
My pot was supposed to be here yesterday afternoon.
There was a huge tarantula spider hybrid in my room and when I got a glass and a sheet of paper it was gone.
My cousin's coming up today and she always makes me feel so inferior with her superiority... not that she's flaunting it or anything... she's just in every way better than I am.

what about your penis?

Azure wrote:

Zoe wrote:

I opened one of those threads.
My penis is REALLY bugging me today.
My pot was supposed to be here yesterday afternoon.
There was a huge tarantula spider hybrid in my room and when I got a glass and a sheet of paper it was gone.
My cousin's coming up today and she always makes me feel so inferior with her superiority... not that she's flaunting it or anything... she's just in every way better than I am.

what about your penis?

I was just hyper aware of it. I cried like 3 times yesterday 'cause I hated it...
Then I smoked too much, ate too much and took a nap.